Monday, June 28, 2010

Monday, June 28, revelation!

At the afore-mentioned nutrition seminar, Mr Boot Camp was talking about the perils of eating sugar and drinking juice/other sugary drinks and suggested an alternative pre-workout meal: a piece of toast with peanut butter. So, I tried it this morning before Boot Camp et voila! We have the title of this post: REVELATION! My workout this morning was just as intense. I was still fatigued and sweating and pushing really hard. However, my endurance and energy levels were up AND I did not have to fight the urge to vomit all over myself like I usually do :)
My trainer noticed and I told her that my I'd tried the pre-workout meal that Boss Man had suggested at the seminar. She asked what I'd been eating before and I told her, "oatmeal," conveniently omitting the modifiers "maple" and "brown sugar." Though, I did say that I thought it was the sugar in the oatmeal that was making me feel sick during the workouts.

Smiley faces! More later. Have to go to stupid work. :)

Monday, June 28 I AM THE CREATOR OF MY METABOLISM

First and foremost, apologies to anyone who has experienced problems commenting on posts . . . it is apparently a common problem that blogger is aware of and "working to resolve." Which to me means, there's nothing I can do about it, which is incredibly effing frustrating. However, there is, in fact, nothing I can do about it, SO please bear with me.
I had a productive day yesterday! I cleaned the ENTIRE house, booya! That's always somehow the most productive feeling, maybe ever. Besides, I dunno . . . graduating from grad school or something. But do diplomas smell like Pine Sol? No. So, maybe I'll stick with cleaning as the most accomplished thing I can cram into a day's plans.
I went to a nutrition seminar at Scenic City -- where I've been going to Boot Camp for the past two weeks, lovers! I meant to go to the Boot Camp before the Nutrition Seminar, but I semi-pussed out, as I was fearful of how hard it was going to be. I stayed home and practiced a little Astanga yoga, since I've been aching to re-incorporate it into my life. In particular, on my own terms and in a more loving environment than that which introduced the practice and I to each other. 
Real quick, the primary things I got out of it:
PROTEIN FIRST! Protein is the building block of muscle-building in the body. Muscles burn fat, so we need it when aspiring to drop pounds.  Imagine your plate is a pie chart cut into thirds. One-third of your plate should always be lean protein, like almost any kind of fish, chicken breast, ground turkey, etc.
"SUGAR" AND SODIUM ARE DETRIMENTAL TO WEIGHT LOSS. They are counter-intuitive to the weight loss process in the body. Eating sugar causes insulin to spike, and insulin is THE road block to fat loss and offers no detours. Also, sugar is tricky because it has about as many different names as Satan himself (coincidence?); to name a few, honey, maltodextrin, turbinado, high fructose corn syrup, rice syrup. The list goes on. And salt causes water-retention, among other things, I'm sure.
EAT EVERY 3 - 4 HOURS Now this one, we've already addressed somewhat in this bloggy, no? The whole idea behind tweaking your diet to encourage weight loss is to speed up the metabolism. It stands to reason that the metabolism will never get more efficient if it doesn't have to work regularly. So simple, when it's spelled out like that. NEVER skip meals, least of all breakfast! Also, today's title comes from this section of the seminar. If you hear yourself saying that genetics dealt you a shitty hand when it comes to your metabolism, STOP SAYING THAT. Start saying, I am the creator of my metabolism! Eventually you will start to mean it and, therefore, eventually it will be true.

Have to run, for now . . . Boot Camp time :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tuesday, June 22nd, Staying the Course

I joined that boot camp that I mentioned previously and I dare say that it's been a serious challenge, even though I've only been three times now. It's set up like circuit training and I feel like a sweaty noodle immediately afterwards and an achy rubberband the very next day, so I'm confident I'm getting a good workout. On Wednesday, our teacher said almost absent-mindedly, "Hope you guys enjoyed class today." And I don't know if it was the blood and adrenalin talking or the urge to speak after an hour of only moaning and grunting, but I decided to share, "Yeah, it was a really good class! I mean, honestly, I usually have to fight wanting to vomit. I mean, that may be TMI, but I usually say to myself, 'Please don't throw up. Please don't throw up.'" She seemed mildly entertained/pleased by this, but only mildly.
More to come later . . . have to go to stupid work.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Fessn Up

PS -- Let me fess up now to feeling guilt. I feel guilty for not exercising like I'd like this past week.
I worry that I'm not doing enough to create the results I so badly want to see.
I think that's why I'm looking for a boot camp type class . . . I feel like I could use the push. Like, I am feeling like I don't have it in me to push myself. I know it's not true, but that's what I'm feeling and I think it's important to be honest throughout this process.

Sunday, June 13th meh

It's Riverbend Festival time in my neck of the woods, which effectively means spending too much money and drinking too much beer. It is not the end of the world, I know, but it's also not the most productive thing for me to be doing now or ever. I woke this morning with the remnants of last night's excesses aching in my brain and immediately started thinking of the part of yesterday's conversation that annoyed me. When it was happening in real time, I was silently annoyed, but I told myself to let it go and, in the moment I have to say I did. But my brain must be programmed to hold on to negative fluff, like a dog gnawing on a bone before he hides it in the backyard to chew on later. At any rate, I was hanging out with 2 straight girls who are both cool and generally the kind of straight girls that this straight girl does not have too much trouble getting along with. The one is very young, 21, and -- for the sake of informing my audience, I'm gonna be judgmental and bitchy, hope that's OK -- an attention whore. The other is older, my age, and a total control freak who's in denial about being one. She regularly refers to herself as "easy to get along with" because she can "carry on" with a street lamp. It occurred to me last night as she was delivering this spiel that being able to talk to, I guess anyTHING, does not necessarily make a person easy-going. Not to mention, I always cringe a little when someone loudly informs me that they can talk to ANYbody and then qualify that statement by insisting they could talk to the first inanimate object they can name, if they had to. When people say this kind of thing, almost like a cue, I want to back away and let them continue as they were.
You could say that some things have been building up since I've been spending time with this person.
So, the younger of the two started moaning about her bat wings, declaring that she can't stand her arms because blah blah blah.
The Talker then jumped on that and assured the Younger the her arms are really cut and that it's really the Talker's arms that are floppy. At this point, 2/3 of my table start flapping their arms like wings, I'm assuming, to see who's upper arms are flappier. I urged, "Oh, now let's not do this straight girl thing."
The two then started the conversation about exercise and weight loss that I'm seeing now will come up every time I am around them. The Younger assures the Talker at this point that, since she has lost/is losing so much weight, that her arms WILL be cut. At which point, she pointedly said, "You and I both know that, if you want to lose weight, it's not hard. You can totally do it." The Talker then insisted that she knew that there were people struggling with it, but essentially, yeah it's easy. Now, I don't think this girl's intent was to single me out in any way, really. I also think that the Talker said what she did not necessarily because she knows I'm struggling but I think maybe she did sense me feeling isolated.
When they have these conversations, I do feel isolated. I feel the urge to give my entire health history . . . that I was obese as a child, teen and young adult. That I just decided one day to take care of myself and lost 60 pounds the slow and steady way -- working out, eating well and taking it one day at a time. That I gained it all back when I moved back in with my parents and, essentially, my old mind and body. That it's my number one goal to achieve optimum health, that I'm working on it, I'm focused and struggling to see the results I so desperately want. Of course I don't say anything. This time, I looked down and pawed at a stain on my t-shirt to have something to focus my attention on. Which is when I was coaching myself through this situation that had become awkward for me . . . I told myself, these people don't know you. And they don't need to know this stuff about you. This conversation doesn't have anything to do with you, so it's best to just leave yourself out of it. It doesn't matter what they think about weight loss or you, for that matter. All that matters is that you know what you need to do, you're doing it and you will see results. You will get back to that place of vibrant health.
I have been looking for some kind of group class, cause one of my best friends is doing one and it's so inspiring to read about her exploits that it hurts a little. I found something online and asked the Talker what she thought about the programs I'd found. She asked, "So, are you just looking for something to jump start your weight loss?" Something about this question really annoyed me. So, the conclusion I've come to is this: I'm not going to share anything more about my health practices with her. (I haven't shared anything real in depth with the Younger at all, and I think I'll leave it that way.) If and when she feels the need to talk at me about hers, I'll quietly listen and nothing else. I thought maybe she'd be a support for me, but I'm not feeling supported so I'll turn else where for it. I'm not competing with anyone any more, except myself.
Also, in reference to all the straight girl stuff in this post . . . it's a regular topic of conversation with these 2. You know, how straight girls can be caddy and bitchy and hard to get along with. I guess what I'm getting at is being aware of this straight girl tension does not mean that it's ceases to exist. Cause there's still this stuff underneath our interactions. And I know I'm not making up it. I'm not saying I'm not a contributor, but I also know that I am not the creator. I don't think either of them necessarily are either. I think it's just inherently there and we pick it up and play with it intermittently. Hope that makes some sense. I mean, none of this is really a big deal. It's just annoying. But, I know what to do to effectively manage it . . . talk to framily, blog, exercise. Basically, just keep doing what I'm doing and don't let anyone's negativity and competitive nature throw me off track

I know this is outside the usual format for posts, but I just had to get this shit off my chest and "out there."