I am here, y'all. I am alive, hanging in there, but not really doing well.
I am in the thick of depression, trying to find my feet and crawl my way out. I am fatigued, but willing to do the work.
I have an idea for an art project that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since it first occurred to me. The working title is "Letters to My Mother," but I am not really sure where I could work on it or install it. I am not even sure that I want it to be on display, but I do think it might be a hands-on way for me to process and accept my mother's dementia. As of now, when I miss her, when I would give anything to talk to her about nothing in particular, I don't know what to do with that sadness. I'm certain this would be a healthy outlet for that grief.
I never expected for this blog to be about my journey through depression and the struggle for mental health and stability. But I still believe that health is multi-faceted, that mental health is an important part of physical health; so, in that regard, it makes.
I had no idea that the move back to my hometown would so soundly knock me on my ass and, considering it's been about 6-7 years, sometimes it feels like it will never get any better. I can't say that I know where life is taking me, but none of us do! I don't have a conclusion, just a promise to you all that I won't give up. As much as I sometimes want to.
The journey is the goal, right?
If any of y'all are in the shit, too, you aren't alone. I'm here with you. I can't promise you that it'll get better, but I ensure you that you are not alone.
