Thursday, February 26, 2015

In the Shit

I am here, y'all. I am alive, hanging in there, but not really doing well.
I am in the thick of depression, trying to find my feet and crawl my way out. I am fatigued, but willing to do the work.
I have an idea for an art project that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since it first occurred to me. The working title is "Letters to My Mother," but I am not really sure where I could work on it or install it. I am not even sure that I want it to be on display, but I do think it might be a hands-on way for me to process and accept my mother's dementia. As of now, when I miss her, when I would give anything to talk to her about nothing in particular, I don't know what to do with that sadness. I'm certain this would be a healthy outlet for that grief.

I never expected for this blog to be about my journey through depression and the struggle for mental health and stability. But I still believe that health is multi-faceted, that mental health is an important part of physical health; so, in that regard, it makes.

I had no idea that the move back to my hometown would so soundly knock me on my ass and, considering it's been about 6-7 years, sometimes it feels like it will never get any better. I can't say that I know where life is taking me, but none of us do! I don't have a conclusion, just a promise to you all that I won't give up. As much as I sometimes want to.

The journey is the goal, right?
If any of y'all are in the shit, too, you aren't alone. I'm here with you. I can't promise you that it'll get better, but I ensure you that you are not alone.

2 comments:

  1. Trying to comment again: I LOVE the idea of writing letters to your mother. Try it, try it, try it! See how it feels and you'll know if you want to keep going. So glad you are posting again.

    ReplyDelete