Work has been SUPER challenging and I haven't been enjoying it. My goals right now: keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep doing my best and try to hold out another six months and then re-evaluate. Sigh ... life's too short to hate where you spend the majority of your time. Bottom line.
However, I just recently heard about two different job openings (albeit in the States) that people specifically contacted me to apply for. This is mostly encouraging, but also slightly frustrating.
Love life is abysmal. No bites, no tugs, no nibbles. Cue tumble weed.
On to more up-lifting topics. I have been working out with a personal trainer for the past six weeks! I have not really lost much weight, but I do feel a difference in my body and energy level. On Thursday I have to get back on the scale and do another body fat reading, which I am not looking forward to. I am afraid it will only prove what I am afraid of, which is that I haven't made that much quantifiable progress. At any rate, Chris is my trainer. I remember seeing his picture at the gym, thinking aww, he looks like a sweetheart. I think that's the guy I want to work out with. I finally made an appointment with him after thinking that for months and went to the gym to meet up with him for a consultation. When I saw him for the first time I didn't want to believe the shocking difference between his picture and reality. Where was that goofy, slightly stoned looking kid with the sweet face? Who was this almost-robot? Certainly he wouldn't be able to give me the TLC I need. We went downstairs into the boxing studio, where he got things started with a few questions that I had the presence of mind to expect: why are you here; what are your goals; what is your fitness history? He of course wasn't rude, but he was not especially warm to say the least. BUT, and this is a big but, I could tell that he wasn't judging me, or at least he was doing it in such a way made it unnoticeable. Then, he worked me out ...
That, paired with his non-judgment, is precisely why I happily decided to work with him and have not regretted it for one moment.
He didn't have me do anything super cray cray, or so it seemed. The first exercise he mad me do was reach for my toes. As I easily reached down to the floor, he was like "Whoa, alright." He told me that I had a very good foundation and that we would be able to accomplish a lot together. I was more encouraged than I had been in YEARS, and that alone had me feeling light, inspired and excited. And he worked me out so well with the few exercises we did that I could barely walk for days after.In the mean time, Chris has warmed up quite a bit and lately, he's been down right frisky! Just today, for instance, he was having me do the pictured exercise, only when I do it my top leg is also bent. Often when I do this exercise, I am prone to lifting my leg more forward than straight up. To keep me from doing this, he'll stand in front of the leg I am lifting to keep it in proper form and position. He was doing that and, as usual, my knee was brushing up against the leg of his break-away pants (don't think I haven't thought about giving them a sound tug). Today, though, he said in a well-I-never sort of tone, "Sarah! Are you trying to undress me?? I suddenly feel so naked ..." and then he feigned covering his nipples like an unexpectedly topless girl getting out of a pool. Not to mention him practically shouting, "Make Daddy proud," as I was doing fucking lunges. (sorry, I kind of hate lunges) Anyway, it's shit like this that makes me love you and relish our precious hour together, Chris the trainer. Umm, also. How shall I put this? Dude is a hotty with a body. I do my best not to drool, especially when he gets all turbo nurturing (he also does physical therapy and massage therapy). Ouch! The deafening tick-tock of my biological clock, is all I have to say.
So there's all this, which is big and a lot and ultra positive.
I have had the pleasure of going to lots of great concerts, as well. Last night I saw The Shins live for the first time and it was easily the best show I've been to in years. God dammit, even if for a hobby, I am going to start making music. Drum group on Thursdays and singing with my badass friend Audz.
Which leads me to the next bit of awesomeness ... I am appreciating more and more how unspeakably incredible the group of friends I have is. Starting at "more uplifting thoughts" and ending here are just a few, concrete examples that make me overflow with gratitude.
That is all for now.
