new chapter

Tomorrow will be my first day of work at my new job ... I am pretty nervous on the one hand, but on the other hand I've had so many jobs that I know my nerves are just a part of it. Everyone is a freshman from time to time and the optimist in me can't help but assume throwing myself into new situations is good for me and will eventually pay off.
I have gotten very little formal exercise this past week and my eating habits have been pretty awful ... I don't really have a plan of action at the moment, beyond my resolutions. I just needed to own up to still feeling off-track.
Today I have been feeling super super lonely, isolated and sad. I think some of it has to do with my trip back home and how surprisingly difficult it was to say goodbye. Yes, I like this city. Yes, I have a new job. Yes, I am making friends. But I still feel so out of place. Like nothing belongs to me. I still have relatively little that is anchoring me here or any where for that matter and I am beginning to wonder if that feeling will ever fade.
Basically, something feels incomplete, missing, out of place or just plain wrong. And I am worried about "getting it together."
I promise to write at least something about my travels to the US and of my first day at work.
In order to feel better or at least fully feel my emotions, I will sit in meditation before going to bed. I will also get at least some formal exercise.