My gift for yesterday was to clean the apartment, including doing tasks I don't normally do, like vacuuming and mopping the kitchen. My honey and I also had two separate (and small) waves of guests at our apartment and we were able to make them feel very at ease. Our first guest said, "I feel like I am at home here." One of our visitors from the second group said, "Thanks so much for having us. It's always so nice here." Those compliments made us feel really warm and welcoming!
My gift for today was to start the Don't Break the Chain approach to productivity. This approach is great because it takes goals that may be huge and unwieldy and breaks them up into tiny steps, which is a concept that is echoed in the purpose of this very blog. It's good for someone like me who is (strangely) a perfectionist. I have been known to be all or nothing - my only concept of success is following the rules to the letter, which does not allow for slip ups. If and when I do slip, I flip a proverbial table and quit and lose a little more faith in myself. As you can imagine, this accomplishes nothing over time, though it is rewarding to flip tables. (Note: I have never flipped a table IRL, much to my own disappointment.)
I do feel that something has stirred in me since beginning this project of giving. It doesn't feel big, but it does feel significant and I look forward to where that takes me. I am also really excited to learn more about what I have to offer to other people.
One thing that has been on my mind lately is that I have been holding myself back from better health because, subconsciously, I don't think I can take good care of myself. I don't know why, but it has a death grip-like hold on my brain. It is exhausting and rationally I know it's a bunch of bullshit, but I have been having trouble shaking it. I am open and ready to a breakthrough, cause I have no business not believing in my capabilities to accomplish any and everything I set my mind to. Period.
Aight, y'all. I'm headin off to bed. Sweet dreams, kittens.
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