back and forth

At the moment, I am feeling anxiety about the outcome of the next 6 weeks. I do have a job offer to fall back on, a "safety school" as a new, very wise friend put it. I feel like this should be a lot more comforting than I have allowed it to be. I have a job interview tomorrow with another company that teaches languages to business folk, individuals and teens and kids. The position would be freelancing, as is the offer I already have. I think either of these positions could be a springboard for my career. I see lots of positive things in both of the prospects, but I can't deny my yearning for something more stable and career-oriented. I'm also waiting to hear from two schools in Nordrhein-Westfallen, one of which I am extremely excited about despite it being located in a terribly small town. I have heard from close to zero of the schools/school districts I have applied to in the US, though I have heard from my referees that my references are signed, sealed and delivered. As my "deadline" approaches, I feel more and more pressure to have something locked and loaded for next year. Also, now that I'm in the time crunch, I am certain that I want to stay in Germany. 

Last week was quite the abng-up week for exercise! My eating was also pretty clean, as far as I can remember. However, I have spent the last two days in a sugar haze and I feel disgusting. I finished my second read of Geneen Roth's Women, Food and God and am working slowly, but surely on the companion "15-week" journal to the book. I would like to share the Eating Guidlines and talk about which ones I want to focus on for the next week.

The Eating Guidlines:

1. Eat when you are hungry.

2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.

3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.

4. Eat what your body wants.

5. Eat until you are satisfied.

6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.

7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

The two rules I have struggled with for as long as I can remember -- and still struggle with today -- are numbers 3 and 5. Those are the two rules I will focus my attention (and intention) on this week.

In terms of exercise, I want to practice yoga and pilates at least twice this week, I also want to practice this yogalates video I found online once and I want to practice the Women's Health yoga abs workout once. I also want to meditate at least 2-3 times this week.

This post is serving not only as an outlet for my fears, doubts, frustrations, but also as a way to create the positive things I wish to enjoy in my life. 

In terms of job/future-building crap, I create that I will find out in the next 2-3 weeks where I will be working in Germany. After that comes finding a place to live :)

Updates @ the end of the week.