PRIZZA

No, I don't.

Two weeks ago, my doctor recommended that I watch my sugar and carbohydrate intake, which I have been, outside of succumbing to the occasional slice of cake at work. Small aside, what is it with sweets at work? They are damn near inescapable. Do we keep ourselves in sugar hazes, to numb the reality that is our unfulfilling professional lives? I'm reaching, but damn. People steady bringing cake, cookies, candy to work. It's out of control.

Sweet jesus, mozzarella di buffalo

Back to my point. I've tried low-carb variations of dishes in the past couples weeks, because I don't always want to deny all carb cravings. Sugar cravings are different - in my experience, once I succumb, there is little turning back. They are intense directly after going off sugar or when I am fatigued, but they do subside over time and with adequate rest. Carb cravings are more difficult to quell, especially considering how much of a sucker I am for all things bread. Noodles and breads are the players I've attempted to recast, to varying degrees of success. I made carrot noodles* the other day and was disappointed with the sweetness. They were not even in the same stratosphere of pasta in terms of mouth feel, comfort and satisfaction. But I did not slip into a coma after eating them either, so it's important to remember the trade-offs. I've heard good things about zucchini noodles, but I have been gun shy to try them again after getting ill from a batch I made months ago. I baked a low-carb bread recipe I found (it was basically a mostly savoury, intensely nutty cake) that was not offensively bad, but not so good that I wanted to eat it. I cooked savoury chickpea flour pancakes* the other night, topped with cheese and roasted mushrooms, and they were tasty and filling. They can stay. Last night, I had such a hankering for prizza** that I mustered the energy to cook on a sweltering Friday night, after a grueling week. Having the 'gredients for cauliflower crust already on-hand, plus tomato sauce, buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil, was half the battle. Imagine my elation when it was actually GOOD. No footnotes, not caveats, just straight up good. I will grant you that my crust was still a little too soft, but I attribute that to never having made it before. 10/10 would cook and nom again.

I am still on the lookout for low-carb recipes that don't make we want to flip a table or rob a bakery and turn into this guy. Will keep you posted.

This seemed like a good idea, but now I want to die.

* these are not the actual recipes I used, but I would try them and I might. If I do, I'll let you know if they're any good.

**I realize I keep misspelling pizza. It's a nod to Dr. Steve Brule.