dreamin

I had the most bizarre dream this morning . . . I dreamed that I was pregnant, due any minute and I could feel very obviously that my baby was breach. For some reason, my brother (who is a doctor) was supposed to deliver the baby, but I didn't want him all in my business, so to speak, so I just went ahead and "delivered" it myself. I didn't push or struggle, like most women giving birth, nor did I have surgery like all mothers must when their babies are facing in the wrong direction. I kind of just took the baby out, my belly along with it, and set it down on a table to let it rest, I suppose. My new-born infant was encased in a pouch and I spent the rest of the dream forgetting it in different places, running around to retrieve it and trying not to miss trains. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's right; although, it is all a little hazy at this point.
I might have to consult the dream dictionary about some of this stuff. I feel like I have an idea as to what this dream is about, but that I'd have to do some further inspection to really figure it out.
One thing is for sure: for years and years, I have been rather certain that I don't want to have children. My entire mind-set and opinion on the subject shifted about 2 weeks ago. When I was in Karslruhe, I got to see a dear friend of mine and I got to meet her new beau. They are adorably and sickeningly in love. It was a really profound experience to see this particular friend so devoted to a man . . . in the past, she'd always had boyfriends, but had not been so serious about them. This boyfriend, however, is a different story. He is one of the sweetest people I've ever met and meeting him and seeing how he treats my friend and makes her happy was eye-opening. Number one, I know without a doubt, that there are plenty of good men! Number two, I now understand why people have babies. I never got that before. Sure, I understood the biological reasons for wanting to have children -- though I doubted biology was driving most peoples' decision to procreate -- but I could never grasp to social reasons to have babies. I cynically believed that a lot of people decided to have babies, cause THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. That's what everyone did before them, ergo that's what they're going to do too. However, meeting my friend's man, and seeing how sincerely loving and giving he is, it all just clicked. Sometimes you have babies because you think your unborn baby has the right to have this person as their father. This man has the right to be an amazing father to someone. And you want to share the enriching, life-altering experience that is having children, with him. Sometimes, a man is so good, that it seems the world is begging for his off-spring.
Even all this jive may have nothing to do with people wanting to have and having babies. However, this was my revelation. This would be my reason for having children with someone. No, I'm not going to go out and get knocked up, cause I've got Liz Lemon-sized baby fever. But hopefully, if and when I meet a man who is good and golden and caring, these will be my reasons for having his children.