I'm running out of time in Chattanooga. Or, the time to leave for Germany is rapidly approaching. My car is still in the shop and I've yet to hear anything from them about it. I'm going to call later this morning. My instinct tells me that it's not good, that it's probably the transmission -- a word which strikes fear into the hearts of many car-owners when uttered by a mechanic. If it is the transmission, chances are likely that the repairs will cost more than the value of the car, and then I'll have to decide what to do with it. It'll probably go to a junk yard :(
The good news is that my friend Jacques is coming to visit, which is a wonderful distraction, as well as great fun and a possible ride back home to boot.
The bad news is that this week is turning out just like last week in terms of exercise, meaning that I haven't gotten any! It feels awful just physically, but the greatest impact is on my spirits. They are decidedly low. I've been judging myself a lot, chastising myself for lack of will or reliability or whatever. To add insult to injury, people have added/tagged me in a bunch of recent pictures on facebook and I loathe most of them. I feel that I look awful. I thought that maybe some results from my last month and change from boot camp might be visible, but they are assuredly not. I feel very discouraged . . . what if the health and weight loss success I enjoyed what's now a few years ago was it? What if this is as good as it gets?
Logic tells me this is all wrong, but inside I feel hopeless and scared.
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